Climaxing for a lot of women can be a tricky business. During the menopause this can be accentuated with a loss of libido, so can sometimes feel like it isn’t worth the hassle even trying. The good news is, you aren’t the only one going through this. Approximately 35% of women have a loss of libido during the menopause.
Climaxing is actually much harder clinically when you get older. This is mainly due to the lack of blood flow to the vagina and clitoral area, so it isn’t just in your mind. The blood flow reduction is due to the reduction in hormones being created which in turn lessens sensitivity in the vagina.
Vaginal dryness can also play a huge part. If you are constantly feeling dry, itchy or have a burning sensation, sex is not going to be on the top of your to do list. Vaginal moisturisers and lubricants can play a critical role for alleviating such dryness. Used on a regular basis YES VM can help, likewise using a water-based lubricant during sex can help provide the lubrication which may be missing.
The vaginal walls can also become thinner during the menopause and peri-menopause and you may even find that the vagina becomes narrower or tight making intercourse even more difficult. Dilators can really help with the narrowing of the vagina. Calexotics have dilator sets with a variety of sizes enabling you to progress through a range of sizes. Used with lubricant, insert the dilator half way and leave it in for a minute or so. Repeat this 5 times, rotating it to stretch the tissues. When you feel the size you are using is no longer stretching the tissue, move on to a larger size.
Weak Pelvic Floor Muscles
Pelvic floor muscles are really important for climaxing. As you enter peri-menopause or menopause these muscles can weaken. Your pelvic floor is a muscle a bit like a trampoline. It stretches from your pubic bone at the front of your pelvis to your coccyx (tail bone) at the back. This muscle is responsible for supporting your pelvic organs – your bladder, bowel and womb. This means that the muscle needs to be strong to control your bladder, bowel and sexual functions. The stronger the muscle, the stronger your control.
During the menopause, if this muscle hasn’t been looked after, it can become weak and urine leakage can occur. This muscle helps us ladies’ climax, so if the muscle is weak, climaxing becomes more difficult, meaning that sex may become unenjoyable.
Exercise and training your pelvic floor muscles on a daily basis is key to making climaxing easier. There are a range of products that can help you perform your pelvic floor exercises to ensure you are using the correct muscle. It’s amazing how many people think they are exercising their pelvic floor muscle when actually they are using a different muscle set!
Devices, such as Intimina KegalSmart which is a pelvic floor trainer, are designed for ease. You perform a 5 minute pre-set workout each day, and it ensures you are training the right muscles. You will start seeing measurable results within 12 weeks.
Intimina also have traditional Kegel sets. Intimina Laselle exerciser set is a set of weighted balls, that you insert into the vagina. You then carry out a simple routine of squeezing your pelvic floor muscles to help strengthen them. Kegel balls should be worn daily for around 15-20 minutes in order to see the benefit. Other products such as Je Joue Ami or LELO Luna beads are also great Kegel sets.
Low mood or low sex drive
Feeling sexy or like you want to have sex plays a huge part in climaxing. Low sex drive or loss of libido is a difficult and complex issue. There can be lots of reasons for this, such as stress, anxiety or not feeling body confident. All of these reasons are very valid however unfortunately they can have a negative impact on your relationship.
Slowing things down or taking penetrative sex off the table for a while can be a good way to remove the stress. It can remove the pressure us women sometimes feel to please their partners. However, this doesn’t mean having zero sexual contact.
Non-penetrative sex plays a huge role in climaxing and feeling body confident. Sex toys can be a great way of bringing some excitement into your relationship and have been proven to play an important role in helping couples with their sex life. Trying a vibrator or a clitoral toy can help increase the blood flow to the vagina, therefore increasing your chances of climaxing! LELO have an amazing range of toys, including the LELO Ora 3, which actually simulates oral sex. A great toy if you want to work on your climaxing when on your own!
Orgasms are really important to obtain during the menopause, as believe it or not, they have a lot of health benefits! An orgasm can help you sleep better, decrease stress levels and improve low moods or depression. So they are definitely something to work on! Just remember to take your time, climax isn’t going to happen as quickly as it used to but when it does finally happen it will be amazing!!
For further help with low sex drive or climax issues visit Menodelight here.
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